it just popped out of my mind suddenly - susan

i was rolling on my bed thinking a lot of things. i thought i could sleep but i just thought of susan again. i realised that i have not been truthful to myself all this while. i am lying so much to everybody, including myself of how well i am doing at the moment. again, i know that people will start saying me again once i pop this name out but i don't care.

i think i have been joking too much nowadays and never really sit down and reflect what i have done over the past few months. i been avoiding all my problems actually and it seems like there are more coming in now. one big problem i have yet to settle is susan. i just think i owe her a lot. we agreed to meet up soon and i will hope she keeps to her promise. i have been wondering how she is doing currently but hopes she is alright. hmmm. i miss her a lot.

right now, i don't know what i am doing. all this while has been susan susan susan and susan but seems like i am pretty anxious with another right now. save me.

alright, i admit that i am lost. someone please guide me and show me a proper way.